Holy dogs cock what a week. Let’s rewind a little.

Friday last week I started feeling a little ‘mandown’. Now we all know that when a lady is not feeling quite en par then she must simply carry on regardless.

Saturday came and went whilst I felt another day of I feel shit coming on. But on Saturday his nibs went away… to Africa:( yes I have just done the upside down smiley …because when you’re ill what you really want is someone else to do the shit stuff like taxi kids and dementia dad, cook meals and generally help out with the dogs. But fear not I am a lady! Not by any stretch am I a feminist. Am all up for the equal pay bollocks but I like a door being held open. Who doesn’t? I loved being at home for 10 years… my job on my CV? Housemaker! Dam right! Anyway… digressing comes quite naturally!

Sunday man down for sure but this bitch had jobs to do. When he’s away we do stuff he is not always keen on….. house jobs!! FYI 2 gone

Monday. So lets face it; 1 meal. That is all I needed but as a lady before going to work on Monday (and that was by far the worst day that I should have stayed in bed) I put the bread maker on, ensured my ‘lounge wear’ was washed and ready because I knew that tonight I was going to need a good feast; cue spicy pasta with bread and salad. Washed down with red wine and legal drugs (lemsip max aka what a waste of money). Yes. My friends Tuesday was another day! Almost cured. FYI 2 gone

But then what is the gift if not the gift of sickness if you don’t share it with your immediate family… the kids!

Now. I love my kids but sniffing kills me! And moaning? Ffs I had it too you know!

Cue the call from school on Wednesday to collect the youngest.. tears ensue because you know… she’s ill. The same thing I had?! No mum much worse. Also a dog bag split whilst picking up poo… need we say more on this? No…FYI 3 more

So how did we get though the week when other tragedies happened? More? What is this? Nails you mofos!!! I lost 8 nails this week… cry no! But they are mine all mine and now I own hobbit stumps.

Thankfully Thursdays’ child provided (can’t remember the saying!!) the visit to the wonder that is the nail salon! And thank Christ I did because I was starting to look like crack alley kate!

Anyway I also bought some shoes on line (I was ill!) so I am happy with those!! Plus he hasn’t seen them because he’s away and he doesn’t read this… he’s busy!!

So it’s almost Friday.

This brings joy. Tomorrow is work then the gym then possibly getting my ears pierced again… then it’s gin o’clock with some ladies.

Ear piercing? When is it too many? I am 41. Not 81…

Am off to see what is so interesting on this walk….

It’s probably fox poo or the dog biscuits some moron of society dumped in the field today….some people need their brains examining!

Over and out bitches