I am no JK Rowling and last week I was (sorry) too jeffing busy and as I started writing my weekly blog and I hit a wall. Not literally but it was a writing one. Whilst I am writing/catching up on the last one which is still in progress this morning got me thinking about fairies.

HOLD YOUR HORSES! Fairies? You know the fucking ones. I bet some of you will be lucky enough to have them too. My husband tells me that we are lucky enough to have them. The question is do you?!

Fairies in our house seem to complete a wide variety of tasks. In the last week here is what they have ‘done’. I will be interested to know what they get up to in your house…

Changed light bulbs that required a step ladder.

Changed the toilet roll over when the roll was simply left empty looking lost waiting for the new poor soul to arrive…

Removed the discarded inner tubes (from the toilet rolls) that were left lying around by some twats.

Emptied the bins in bathrooms which should have signs on asking for the discarded inner toilet roll tubes to join them.

Collected the dirty laundry from various floors and then transported them via their fairy wings to the utility room!?

Restocked the fridge. This one truly baffles me!

Emptied and re-stacked the dishwasher.

Watered the plants.

Cleaned the blinds.

Vacuumed the house.

Cleaned the extractor fan.

Now I have asked the fairy queens if they could assist with some of my jobs but apparently they are too busy to add my current list of jobs which include writing Christmas cards and then queuing at the post office to send them only to find that the cost of sending them is almost enough to feed a family of 4 for 2 days.

Buying Christmas presents for everyone and then wrapping them up hoping that they like what they receive?!

Walking the dogs when it is raining or at a minus temperature.

Ensuring that all house/car insurance is up to date.

Paying all utility bills (yawn at the thought of getting a new supplier!!).

Keeping on top of the crazy family diary oh and possibly sorting my dad out not to mention his bills, food orders etc….

Ideally I am looking for more hours in the day. I would also like a housekeeper who knows how anal I am about the bed sheets being straight and who can clean the toilets everyday as we have 4 and I do love a bleached bowl! He/she can walk the dogs for me in the dark or rain. Can also do food shopping at the drop of a hat and make me a stiff gin and tonic for when I walk through the door every day. Applications can be submitted right away and I will pay by over feeding you and giving you of hugs when required….

Impossible? Who said the quote ‘nothing is impossible’.