I have pointed out before about dads’ previous love for fashion. I have also written about his love for Primark and pants.

Today he was up when I got there which is never a good sign as it seems that he’s had too much time to ‘think’ albeit a loose description of the word in his current state. Yesterday he asked if he could write Christmas cards. Thankfully ever prepared I pointed out that I already had the ones for the grandchildren. So with a pen in one hand and the card held by my hands he attempted to write. Imagine if you will a small child holding a pen for the first time and scrawling. That’s what we had. Utter confusion and utter madness that he cannot write a single letter let alone a word. Even the husband was watching with amazement. It’s a bewildering situation that the brain can be so utterly and totally fucked in such a short space of time. Sadness does not even cover it. I will go with amazement from my point of view and not in a good way…..

So today we could not get our pants on. Upside down, 2 legs in 1 hole; you get the idea. Frankly it was confused.com! Even his questions this morning were bizarre. Where is the top part of this? What is this. This. What’s this? And so it goes on. Another day another bad start.

I digress. Sorry.

Not content with his collection of pants, which I hasten to add has grown considerably over the last year, he has now become obsessed with a slightly pricier primark collection; suits.

Be it a 2 or 3 piece number we now have a plethora of the bastard things hanging from every space available. I am yet to see him wear any of them until yesterday when he arrived for dinner all suited and booted. I will say that one of these suits is in fact quite nice but in general I cannot seem to understand why on earth he would require such a collection. He also has Hugo Boss, Armani, Versace and Ralph Lauren suits in hanging up in his flat but worry not as those babies are no longer ‘de rigueur’.

Today whilst I was literally physically cooking in his flat, as he’s once again turned the thermostat to 30, (even too hot for me! ) I have so far counted 11 suits. These are almost all complete with pocket handkerchiefs and hanging up complete with the matching trousers and some even have a waistcoat too! Going back to how we used to have our clothes arranged when the maids paired everything together for him!

Then we have ties. I have discovered an old mobile phone box which is now housing a collection of both ties and cuff links. This man cannot tie his shoes on a regular basis but button a shirt and cuffs he can.

Today we have a new tie (primark obviously) which is beautifully adorned with Christmas shizzle. For a man who frankly didn’t give a flying hoot about the impending day he seems to want to be dressed for the occasion.

What I can say is that he is helping the high street, in turn the economy, and getting every penny out of his free bus pass!