This time last year we had the same problem. Dad is very very low and we cannot seem to fathom what is wrong.

Last year and the year before Dad talked about suicide. Nothing new if you read my blogs but it still does not make it any easier especially as he only discusses such delight with me.

On Saturday I called Dad as I knew that I would not be going round to see him until Sunday. He was awful to say the least. So bad that whilst we conversed, or more like I asked questions and he gives me confused one word answers, he placed the phone down on the side and simply wandered off. This again is something that is happening more and more.

On Sunday when I went to visit him he was crying once again but this time he was on the phone to his lady friend (90 years young post hip replacement op) babbling away in Portuguese and albit I understand everything he says he was making no sense at all. I dread to think what the poor old lady friend was making of his chatter but then again she seems used to being spoken to in a language she does not understand at all.

Back to Saturday and the call. Dad was crying which I later found out he had been doing for most of the day. He asked me to get him a big knife so that he could stab himself and put an end to all of ‘this’.

Rarely am I at a loss for words but I simply said ‘ok dad I will see what I can do’. Any other suggestions will be gratefully received…